im stephi and i play the cow bell
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sorry son, it’s not MY fault you were born on opposite day.. now where are my presents


The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.



food will last approximately 6.4 seconds in front of me the second it’s put down, i ain’t got no time to instagram any of that

not trying to make this about me but i look really cute here


What’s honest and what’s real and what’s you, that’s what’s rock and roll. That’s what’s cool.
Patrick Stump (via wxntz) ←


do you think the staff at LAX get sick of seeing harry styles so often 


i think about this video almost every day and i am so frightened of it


attention tumblr


just got an email with the subject line “WANT TO GROW YOUR PENIS UP TO 10 INCHES??” so i clicked very excitedly but the message was just “me too… :/”


People who have a superiority complex based on their enjoyment of vintage music or books are some of the most annoying people in the world and if I ever hear you ridiculing someone just because they may not enjoy listening to the beatles whilst reading to kill a mockingbird and sipping a cup of hibiscus green tea i will literally come to your house and staple your nipples to your elbows 


my ideal weight is the weight of me holding eight puppies


if ur cute and i dont follow u back let me know

i domt have time for this goodbye



"Augustus is soooo pretentious!!!"

Ohmygod, no way?? It’s almost as if that’s exactly what John Green intended.

"Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production."





I can see 6 years into the future…Thanks to my 2020 vision.

How long have you been waiting to use that joke

Since 2009 

you could have made this joke literally anytime